I Hate Babies

You would think that on my birthday, I would write about something less hateful. You would think that as a lady, I would like babies. Nobody dislikes babies unless they are recluses like Mr Bean.

Well okay, I do not really hate babies in the sense of wishing to strangle them. And most babies love me. They always stare and smile at me. But I would rather spend my time with anyone than a baby.

But today, as mentioned, is my birthday. As a birthday special, I’m writing about babies, because we were all babies once. I was going to write about the psychology of babies, but really, I don’t care very much about what they think. The only thing interesting to me is that when they are very very young, they grow a membrane over their eyes when underwater, which is like a survival instinct thing. So you cannot really drown babies as easily as you can adults. Or something.

But enough about babies. What fascinates me most are the parents, who determine how babies will turn out when they grow older. Isn’t it wondrous to think that everyone of us is partly a product of our parents’ choices? I suddenly feel that it’ll be a bestseller to make a game where players play the part of parents and determine how their children will grow up. Even choosing which partner to marry makes a difference in the kid’s upbringing.

There are 4 parenting styles, only 1 of which is recommended for a mature and developed child.

The first style is authoritarian, which means the parent has total control over everything the kid does. We all know that it restricts children of freedom to make their own decisions, which is bad. While it is good that parents know what their children are up to, they should learn to give them some autonomy especially as they grow older.

The second style is authoritative, which is the best style. Authoritative parents also know what their children are up to and supervise them closely, but they allow their kids to select and decide for themselves what they want to do.

The third style is permissive, where parents let their children do whatever they want. This is just as bad as being authoritarian, because kids grow up to be unruly — like some brats we all probably have had the misfortune to come to know at one point or another.

The fourth style is neglectful, which means the parents don’t even care about their kids. I hope none of us is like that. Remember, if you don’t want to spend time with your children, don’t have children! That way, you save society from having to put up with those undisciplined juvenile delinquents.

If you looked a bit more into developmental psychology, you will find that throughout our lifespan, we grapple with many psychological issues, from the formation of logical thinking when we are children to the search for identity as we age. There is a wide branch of research in this, which interestingly is one area I have the least interest in, probably because it involves kids. But do look into it if you are like majority of the world’s population and are nuts about those stunted infants.

And here’s wishing me a happy birthday.

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