Maybe after 60-odd entries of the Exalted Salvation Show, some of you may begin to wonder what kind of person I am. I, of course, can’t possibly write all about myself in 1 mere entry, but this entry shall, I think, embody a trait I think reflects on myself in its extreme. Some people are extremely generous people in that they donate almost all their life savings to charity, or are extremely intelligent to the point of being prodigies.
As for me, I think I just really enjoy quantity more than quality.
I am, I think, a workaholic. I like doing stuff, and there is nothing that satisfies me more than a job done. Not so much a job well done, because quality is something I don’t aspire towards. I am perfectly satisfied with getting a job satisfactorily done. Of course, I want to do my work to the best of my ability, but I am no perfectionist. What I really pressurise myself, though, is to get as much work done as is humanly possible. I worry more when I feel that I’m not doing enough work, as compared to when I’m doing poor work. In order to compensate for the mediocre quality of my performance, I snap up more work than other people. Back on Torrenta, I chalked up 40 mod threads. I am currently in the Executive Committee of 3 clubs simultaneously. I even took up 2 majors instead of the usual 1. And I guess it applies for this blog too. I make sure to have 6 categories to write in, 6 days a week. Work keeps me going. I derive fun from doing work (though I confess to great frustrations when I don’t know how to do something) and I derive pleasure from other people’s approval of my work performance. I care a lot about what others think of me, and I constantly strive to please others, even if it means doing more work than them or going out of my way to solve their problems.
Even in leisure I seem to have more varied interests than others. I wouldn’t brag that I have more interests than everybody else, but perhaps my interests are more diverse. Or rather, to be honest, I just really love knowing about more stuff than other people. I love when my school email account is filled to the brim with news about NUS happenings. I love when I have friends from all my clubs and hear about things like musical gigs, literary events and anime. I don’t really care if any of these news really apply to me personally. I don’t go for nightclub gigs and rarely attend literary events. I also watch only about 5% of all anime out there. But the pleasure somehow comes from the knowledge. I can strike up conversations with strangers with this knowledge (you never know how much use just limited knowledge of a topic can be in social situations).
Another related trait of me is my stubbornness to rules, especially rules I set for myself. For instance, back when I was working as a temporary clerk in Mee Toh School, I set up a system for myself in the stalls I eat from everyday in the coffee shop. On Mondays it must be the chicken rice stall, on Tuesdays the noodle stall, and so on. I did not allow any changes for any reason whatsoever. Perhaps this culminates in my overworking myself too. I don’t give myself a break even when I should.
Sound like a tough life to you? But really, we waste so much of our time making impromptu choices that we’re not satisfied with afterwards anyway. Why don’t we just devote our attention to more productive decisions and leave these insignificant choices to a plan that we can blindly follow everyday?