I thought at first that I was late to preview the Oscars. The website said it would air in America at 4 pm today, if I didn’t interpret the symbols wrong, but I realise that it’s only 11.10 am over there, or some such time in the late morning. Thanks to timezones, I’ve made it just in time to give my take on how the Oscars will pan out.
Just a note that my prediction skills are on the level of every other normal person, so you may want to take this entry with a pinch of salt. Then again, this is the season for Oscar fevers after all, so I bet you and the guy sitting beside you have all prepared lists of your favourite winners. So let’s look through each category and see what I have to say.
Oh the most important highlight of the night, and I go to that first. The only movie I’ve watched from this list, alas, is Amour, but if it’s of any help, I’ve read Life of Pi. That said, I’d be damned if Amour wins Best Picture. I don’t think it reaches the level of The Artist at any rate, which was a French film that took the world by storm. The audience was pretty undecided about the quality of Amour after they left the cinema and I admit I got bored halfway through. The pacing’s too slow, even for a European production, I think. Then again, it is about the old, and possibly for the old as well.
I would bank the winner on Zero Dark Thirty, because it has been getting some hype what with Obama and political films and Kathryn Bigelow again. I kinda hope it isn’t Life of Pi because I didn’t find the book particularly deep and I think the lure of the movie comes in its cinematography anyway.
Actor in a Leading Role
I’m starting to regret doing an Oscars thing because it’s made me realise how few movies I watch. I’ve always been bad at gauging the standards of actors, too, but looking at the photographs I think Hugh Jackman gives me the best vibe. He looks absolutely British in his dress robes and I think we should award him for his courage.
Actress in a Leading Role
Unfortunately, it won’t be Quvenzhane Wallis. I just know it. No chubby African girl who looks like a boy will ever get the nod for best lead actress.
But would it be Emmanuelle Riva? Even though Amour was slow and dreary, kudos have to be given to its actors for managing to sit through their own long dreary shootings. I shall vote for her then.
Actor in a Supporting Role
I shall segue a bit here and mention that I’ve seen a lot of contenders coming from “Django Unchained” and it keeps reminding me of Rango. That lizard thing film that won Best Animated Picture last year or something. But Django Unchained is undoubtedly a serious, live-action flick.
I’ve a soft spot for Tommy Lee Jones after Men In Black, and he is too cute to pass up in my vote for this category.
Actress in a Supporting Role
Anne Hathaway? Anne Hathaway? I feel like she’s been getting too many awards lately but okay, Anne Hathaway. Or Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt has a nice ring to it.
Animated Feature Film
I come at last to the point where I know what I’m talking about. I would absolutely revile in horror if something like Frankenweenie or ParaNorman gets the statuette, so it’s got to be a Disney Pixar production. Now my opinion has been tied for a few weeks over Brave or Wreck-It Ralph. Both have stunning visual imagery and I can tell they’re both meant to be big-budget productions too. Brave has the epicness of fantasy while Wreck-It Ralph has a surprisingly popular storyline. I would lean towards Wreck-It Ralph in this case because I was really impressed by its creativity. Brave, while beautiful, is cliched in more ways than one.
I don’t know why but James Bond movies tend to win for cinematography, when all they do is really take good angle shots of Bond in bed. As mentioned previously, I would love it for Life of Pi to take the cake for this one.
Puffy dress robes for Hugh Jackman? Sign me up for Les Miserables!
Anna Karenina is also a close contender. I know for costume design the jury loves historical shows. Things like Snow White and the Huntsman won’t cut it because the costume designers can pretty much go wild and still make the outfits look good. However, historical films have to be true to the fashion scene at the time, which is harder.
I think Steven Spielberg hasn’t been winning much lately. Looking at the list, no name really pops out saying “choose me!” In light of that, I pick Michael Haneke because they always think arthouse films are real difficult to direct. I wonder if they’re right.
I really can’t say because I don’t even like watching documentaries. I’ll try for a lucky pick and go with The Invisible War.
Inocente sounds like a prize-winning name. Things with prize-winning names never do win, but we can continue to hope.
Now this is especially hard for everyone to judge because you’ve got to show us the original footage for us to make a comparison, right? I’ll take Life of Pi because special effects are probably difficult to edit. Or they could be the easiest, in which case I’ll guess Zero Dark Thirty.
Foreign Language Film
Need you ask? It’s got to be Amour!
Makeup and Hairstyling
Everybody in the Hobbit has the same makeup and hairstyling, so I prefer Les Miserables to win.
Music Original Score
Ah, the sweet memory of that Oscars year where UP’s music won in this category. It’ll be funny if Skyfall wins because I bet everybody only remembers that typical James Bond music we hear every movie. I’ll go with Argo as it sounds like there’ll be fun music.
Music Original Song
Ew, please don’t let it be Ted. A perverted teddy bear singing about everybody needing a best friend cannot be an Oscars winner. Neither can something with the word Lullaby in it. I’ll choose Before My Time.
I think the Hobbit’s vintage design will appeal to many people.
Short Film Animated
IT’S GOT TO BE PAPERMAN. It’s got to be Paperman. Anybody who hasn’t watched Paperman should go find it right now because I swear it’s one of those short films that are high up on the list. I remember one that made me cry, and I forgot why, but it was about sheep. This one didn’t make me cry but it had a great blend between Western and Japanese art. It’s a simple elegant tale that talks about romance and persistence and yeah it’d better win.
Short Film Live Action
Are live-action short films ever any good? A bit cheeky, this, but I’ll go with Buzkashi Boys because they sound like punks.
Skyfall needs some love.
I don’t know what’s the difference so I’ll choose Skyfall again.
Hmmmm. It might be Life of Pi but it might also be Snow White and the Huntsman, depending on how well that did. I shall pick the latter.
Writing Adapted Screenplay
I think Lincoln will get it. Somehow political films get really good screenplay apparently.
Writing Original Screenplay
Zero Dark Thirty. And it’ll have dramatised and sensationalised the killing of Osama.